Do You Garden? Do You have Garden Gnomes?

You might ask, "What does this have to do with the Printed Word?" I just read a very compact book you should know about. Look below before it's too late.

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will)
By Chuck Sambuchino  
Ten Speed Press 
ISBN 978-1-58008-463-5 
Reviewed by Billie A Williams 

“Keep reading if you want to live.” Talk about a hook. If that doesn’t get you, nothing will. Am I reading Tess Gerritsen or Stephen King? Neither.  I’m reading How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack by Chuck Sambuchino. 

 I have three of these little Garden Gnome predators but they decided not to come out this year to sit in the Keebler Elves type doorway created by a major branch breaking off our willow tree.  When another one quarter of this willow tree toppled in a windstorm this summer, I realized how very clever these Garden Gnomes are. Sambuchino verifies my observation. 

A delightful tongue in cheek, but clever look at thwarting an eventual takeover awaits the reader. Garden Gnomes do seem to multiply. They come in various sizes and colors to fit any landscape or indoor décor. 

Tidbits of ‘Gnomenclature’ (coined by Chuck Sambuchino) impart knowledge and a question in the reader’s mind –truth or Sambuchinoed—you might ask. 

An interesting trip through some natural world wonders, complete with photographs, impart wisdom and exploration and do a great job of raising the curiosity level of the reader. This book is a delightful treatise on our penchant for collecting. It’s an innocuous, harmless habit – or is it? 

Would you worry about reaching into your mailbox if you knew that, perhaps, a gnome waited there to attack that hand?  Would you opt for a Post Office Box even though it cost you time, travel and money to retrieve your mail every day? See page 45. It’s scary. 

Do you know how to make quick sand? See page 36, it’s for your own defense. 

You know about crop circles don’t you? Do you know how they are formed? See Page 22 for insider information. 

On every page there is a footer, footers  marked by a pointed, little red, gnome cap. There is no escape! 

You’ll laugh. You’ll question the sanity of the message. You will look with new eyes on that garden gnome you thought was a mere, sweet little elfin garden ornament. 

I found myself wondering as I finished this marvelous small book; when will How to survive a Pink Flamingo Attack, be released? 

I highly recommend this book to gnome lovers/owners everywhere. Even if you are not a gnome owner, but a gardener or have a neighbor who gardens—you need to read this book for your own protection or for a laugh a minute if you prefer humor.
Billie A Williams
http://www.billiewilliams.com
http://writingwide.com
Money Isn't Everything, Best Seller
Mystery Suspense, Wings Press
 

Whodunit makes the Bestseller List

It's hard to imagine how long the printed word has been thrilling, intriguing or entertaining people, but it's even more interesting to study the best seller lists since they first began somewhere around 1825 or so. We really have to stretch ourselves to imagine that far back so much has happened in the last 150 years or more.

I began to wonder when the first mystery may have hit the shelves, but more importantly when did one reach the distinction of bestseller?

Imagine, the year is 1902 and the list has been going for a while. You pick up the paper and lo and behold Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Hounds of the Baskervilles is listed. It is still one of Doyle's most famous Sherlock Holmes novels and is officially the first 'detective story', to  make the bestseller list. [according to Michael Korda in Making the List, a cultural History of the American bestseller 1900 - 1999.]

But it wasn't until 1909 that the first American detective story made the list. The Man in the Lower Ten, by Mary Roberts Rinehart had the distinction and along with that, a tradition of women writers who used three names in their signature line. The tradition, it would seem with such notables as Mary Higgins Clark and others.

So the printed word continues to be interested in the traditions and genre's long ago built by those we love to read and hope to emulate in our own writing.
Billie A Williams (since I only use an initial I guess I don't qualify for the distinction mentioned above {smile})
www.billiewilliams.com
Money Isn't Everything

It's Here....My own Printed Words

I need to deviate from the normal posts for just today. I am excited my new book is printed and ready for you. Antique Armor hits the shelves today -- September 1, 2010--from Wings ePress.com available wherever fine books are sold.

Antique Armor is about a young woman who inherits an Antique shop when her Aunt Rosa dies (mysteriously I might add) a suit of antique armor is delivered to the shop after she takes it over. She has no clue where it came from, but bizarre things begin to happen as soon as it arrives. Is it cursed? Does it have paranormal powers, is it her imagination? When a note falls from the armor that says "She's killing me" our protagonist goes into accidental sleuth mode and wonders just what she has gotten herself into. Follow June Fabrizio as she tries to untangle the mess her family has involved her in. From Aunt Rosa, to sister Belinda and her brother Derek's strange death the tale keeps unfolding while she is never certain who is with her and who isn't.
An autographed copy is available from me...Billie A Williams if you are so inclined, send me an email and I can let you know what shipping will be. The book is $11.95 and postage is around $3.
ISBN 978-1-59705-537-2 [available soon at Amazon.com]
It is also available in electronic versions (ISBN 978-1-59705-483-6) and will be up at Fictionwise and Amazon soon.
Thanks for letting me toot my own horn.

Printed Words and Musical Scores

Reading Margaret Atwood's Negotiating with the Dead, A Writer on Writing I've come across some amazing thoughts. She says the printed word and musical scores have many similarities. It's not the words on the page that make the tale remembered it's how the author played them...as a musician would play an instrument. They both find the song hidden in the notes or the story hidden in the words. So true.

Someone once said, and I paraphrase here,  it's not the musical notes played that make the tune, it's the spaces between those notes, the pauses, and my step father was quick to say it's not the printed word but what is written between the lines that we need to read.  The author crafts his tale the way he hears them in his head using words as his musical notes, his song in 3/4 time or 4/4 beat.

Elsewhere, Atwood, when speaking of duplicity as she claims all writers are - two different people, "Wanting to meet the author because you like his work is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate." The person is not the author and vice versa. I tend to agree with that somewhat, my characters come from my mind but they are not necessarily about me personally. I didn't rob a bank to write about robbery, I didn't murder someone to write about murder...I didn't own an antique store as my current accidental sleuth does, or a cafe as the sleuth in another of my books does...I was never a rodeo clown or bronc rider, yet all of these are a part of the me on the page. Duplicity, a slippery eel, not even identical twins but more like Siamese twins I'm afraid. Joined together but not the same, nor do they necessarily think the same or look the same.

There is more to ponder on this, but I'm so enjoying Margaret Atwood, I wonder why I haven't found her before.

Negativity and The Butterfly

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Positive Focus will create the life that you want to live!

Negative people are like human black holes. They drain your energy. They keep you from reaching your goals. They stop your life!
Brian Tracy...

And this is so true. It seems negativity spreads at the speed of light while happiness has to be sought out and captured on the run - well perhaps chasing happiness is wrong, maybe we need to stand still and allow it to come to us...like the butterfly.   Your thoughts?

What Characters Can do For Your Fiction

It is said that fiction is life dressed up for a party and the writer controls the guest list. You can invite anyone, any type character you need or want into your story.

That makes writing a lot like acting--well, you see you, the writer, gets to play all the parts. Isn't that grand being behind the steering wheel all the time.

We think we are anyway. Sometimes, characters will jump in and just take over the ship - If you try to force them to go your way several things could happen.
1. You could alienate your readers because the story might not ring true to what your character would do in this situation you created.
2. You could wind up telling the wrong story and find yourself left blocked and never finishing the tale at all or it will not be the tale you are destined to tell.
3. Why fight it, go along with your character, at least until you see where s/he is heading. It may be a direction you never planned, but it may well be a better direction, a better what if. Try it!

When you create each character in your head you manufacture just enough details, enough information so that your reader can form his character to people your story that fits his mind or idea of the character. You will both be right...and it involves your reader.

Someone once said, "If your characters are having more fun than you, your on the right track." So roll out the red carpet and let your characters have a ball.
Writing WideWriting Wide: Exercises in Creative Writing or Writing Wider, More Exercises in Creative Writing

See Steve Ostrow in action.

If you've enjoyed the book review, but want more --here is a video link for you to see and hear Steve in action. - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sta7eAg-Ak. He turns his Printed Words into action.
Please be sure to check out his book it is a treasure trove of resources for every consumer and his style is a delight.
How To Sue A Telemarketer
When you are in the middle of writing that blockbuster novel or dynamite article you don't need to be interrupted by a telemarketer. Take action Steve can help. Click on the link above to buy his book. You'll be glad you did.