Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Do You Garden? Do You have Garden Gnomes?

You might ask, "What does this have to do with the Printed Word?" I just read a very compact book you should know about. Look below before it's too late.

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will)
By Chuck Sambuchino  
Ten Speed Press 
ISBN 978-1-58008-463-5 
Reviewed by Billie A Williams 

“Keep reading if you want to live.” Talk about a hook. If that doesn’t get you, nothing will. Am I reading Tess Gerritsen or Stephen King? Neither.  I’m reading How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack by Chuck Sambuchino. 

 I have three of these little Garden Gnome predators but they decided not to come out this year to sit in the Keebler Elves type doorway created by a major branch breaking off our willow tree.  When another one quarter of this willow tree toppled in a windstorm this summer, I realized how very clever these Garden Gnomes are. Sambuchino verifies my observation. 

A delightful tongue in cheek, but clever look at thwarting an eventual takeover awaits the reader. Garden Gnomes do seem to multiply. They come in various sizes and colors to fit any landscape or indoor d├ęcor. 

Tidbits of ‘Gnomenclature’ (coined by Chuck Sambuchino) impart knowledge and a question in the reader’s mind –truth or Sambuchinoed—you might ask. 

An interesting trip through some natural world wonders, complete with photographs, impart wisdom and exploration and do a great job of raising the curiosity level of the reader. This book is a delightful treatise on our penchant for collecting. It’s an innocuous, harmless habit – or is it? 

Would you worry about reaching into your mailbox if you knew that, perhaps, a gnome waited there to attack that hand?  Would you opt for a Post Office Box even though it cost you time, travel and money to retrieve your mail every day? See page 45. It’s scary. 

Do you know how to make quick sand? See page 36, it’s for your own defense. 

You know about crop circles don’t you? Do you know how they are formed? See Page 22 for insider information. 

On every page there is a footer, footers  marked by a pointed, little red, gnome cap. There is no escape! 

You’ll laugh. You’ll question the sanity of the message. You will look with new eyes on that garden gnome you thought was a mere, sweet little elfin garden ornament

I found myself wondering as I finished this marvelous small book; when will How to survive a Pink Flamingo Attack, be released? 

I highly recommend this book to gnome lovers/owners everywhere. Even if you are not a gnome owner, but a gardener or have a neighbor who gardens—you need to read this book for your own protection or for a laugh a minute if you prefer humor.
Billie A Williams
Money Isn't Everything, Best Seller
Mystery Suspense, Wings Press


jrlindermuth said...

I knew there was a reason to fear those gnomes. I'm not planning on collecting any, but I enjoy your comment on them and the book.

Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Billie,
Interesting article. I have gnomes in my back garden, used to have them in the front but they kept getting stolen.



CDEcho said...

Margret, you just thought they were stolen. I've been execting those little buggers to start trouble -- protest marches, attacks on small dogs.

Joyce Anthony said...

This sounds like a great read!! It is now on my TBR list--thanks, Billie! Oh, I wandered over to your wevsite and it is looking fabulous!!

Word Crafter said...

Thanks for all the cool comments everyone - yup those little innocent looking elfin critters are everywhere and bound and determined to cause trouble.
Be on the alert and go get your copy of Sambochino's book to at least stave off further damage.