Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Fearless Factor Author Interview



Interview with Jacqueline Wales,
Author of the book and workbook The Fearless Factor
By Billie A Williams
Jacqueline,
As I read your work I hear your voice as strong but never harsh. Your words come across as if you were a caring grandmother. Women are supposed to be nurturers and you certainly are that. I watched your video and felt immediately attracted by your charisma.

1.Could you tell us what was, or was there a single event that turned your life around? That made you let go of fear and grip life by the horns and take charge?
Jacqueline
I'm not sure there was a single incidence. Fear has been such an important feature of my life given my background of violence, but I was aware one day when my daughter was about six months old of having an incredible screaming fight with my husband as she sat below us looking on in amazement at these two people who had completely lost it, and then seeing her wide-eyed stare and understanding that my life was out of control. That was a defining moment of 'I better get some help, or I'm going to destroy the next generation."
2. You mention that we parade around covering our fear with things like procrastination, depression and such, what would you say to someone who really does think they have that knot in their stomach when faced with doing something outside their comfort zone?
Jacqueline
The knot in stomach is our resistance. We know we must do something different, but we are afraid because we don't know what that looks like. We resist change because somehow it is seen as threatening to our lifestyle, our relationships, our current way of being, but the resistance causes us far more problems than we know. I also like to say that fear is our alarm bell. When the fear bell rings in our stomach, that's when we pay attention. What am I avoiding, what do I need to do differently here?
3. Your book and workbook, and your website have such a plethora—such a vast wealth of information it’s hard to know where to start. What or where would you tell a beginner, someone who thinks, “Hey you might be right,” where would you tell them to start in their recovery or discovery of being fearless?
Jacqueline
I like to say that being fearless is not the absence of fear, but the choices and decisions we make when fear shows up in our lives. Fear is normal. It's a part of our existence when new things happen or when we're confronted by something outside our normal existence. So pay attention when the fear bells ring. Look at your choices. If you make the wrong one, choose again. Trust that you have the right answers even if you can't see them right away.
4. It sounds like you had a very tough life to begin with, but you don’t sound like you blame anyone for the circumstances you pulled yourself out of and through. Did you have a mentor, someone who guided or helped pull you to your feet after so many trials and tribulations?
Jacqueline
Blaming is a waste of time. When you blame others for your miserable life, or for the circumstances of your existence, you're putting out excuses. I believe there are no more excuses. We are all 100% responsible for the life we lead, even if we feel someone or something else is responsible for the unhappiness or challenges of our existence. I could have gone through my entire life blaming my parents for their lack of love, their violence, their chaos, but I realized they did what they knew how to do, and didn't stretch themselves beyond their boundaries. I learned how to forgive and have some compassion for their weakness.
5. You are now happily married and have reunited with the children you felt you had to let go for adoption. That is such a marvelous and inspiring story. Tell us a little bit about how that came about. You know, what began the journey– finding your husband, or finding your children, or finding yourself?
Jacqueline
I've been married twice. The first was to the first man who said he loved me and we had a child together. We met when I was in the middle of giving my first child up for adoption. I later walked out on both the husband and the child we had together. I knew there was something more waiting for me, but I had no idea what that was. It was a radical thing to do in those days, and I suffered a lot of disdain as a result. When I met my second husband, I was in the deepest pit of despair at having left my child behind with his father, and I had tremendous self-loathing. It took seven years together before I was willing to commit to having another child and I said before she was born that "I would leave her before she left me." She graduated college in June of this year. I then went on to become stepmother to my second husband's daughter, a complete stranger at the age of 10 from Thailand, and then have another child with him. She is about to start college. My son, who was left with his father, became very close to me and we now have a wonderful, healed relationship. Throughout it all, I have done my best to live my life as best I can, becoming a role model for all those children. It was clear that I had to become healthy so my children could be healthy. I've made that my mantra for the last 30 years.
6. “Life is not about finding the answers; it’s about asking the right questions”. I have been reading a book called Power vs Force and it echoes that statement. It says that there can be no question asked unless you already have the answer inside you or you would never know to ask the question. So how do you know the question to ask yourself? What did you ask yourself that started your journey back to life and living?

Jacqueline
What do you want? Where in your life do you want to make a difference, and who will it benefit if you do the work that must be done? What are you willing to sacrifice? What are you ready to leave behind? What do you think is holding you back and why? These are my questions. These are the fundamental questions we must all ask when doing the work we must do. All the answers are inside of you. If you don't know the questions, then find someone who does. That's how I've managed to survive and thrive as well as I have. I've had hundreds of mentors and guides along the way. Without them, I could not have done the work I've done.
7. You seem so very well put together, so sure of what you are doing and where you are going. Do you have any doubts anymore? What is your biggest struggle today?
Jacqueline
I still have doubts. Can I really do the work I've set out to do. Am I strong enough, knowledgeable enough, disciplined enough. Ultimately, the answer is yes I am, and I stay focused on the end result. My biggest struggle is to set time aside for me. I work very hard and because of my martial arts training I can push myself further than is necessarily good for me. So I must learn to let go, let God, and trust the process of unfolding.
8. Is there anything else you would like to share with the readers on The Printed Word Blog today?
Jacqueline
Don't give in to your fears. It's your imagination on overdrive and it's simply a conditioned response. You can choose differently. It took me many years to get to where I am today, but I like to take the long road. Don' t be hard on yourself and treat yourself with kindness and compassion. The rest will follow.
9. Where can readers find you? What kind of products do you offer readers and where can they find them?
Jacqueline
If you go to http://www.thefearlessfactorbook.com where you'll find the downloadable version of the book and a study guide that accompanies it, as well as 6 hours of audio.
The print version was not complete for the tour, but you can sign up at http://www.thefearlessfactorbook.com/signup and I'll let you know when it's ready.
Or http://www.thefearlessfactor.com you will find lots of great information to help you on the way including a special gift from me called The 4 Easy Steps to Overcoming Fear.
I have a radio show each Sunday on Achieve Radio called Fearlessly Speaking http://www.achieveradio.com where I interview lots of great guests and is available to listen to on archives.
And if you'd like to get a copy of my book When The Crow Sings you can find that at http://www.amazon.com/When-Crow-Sings-Jacqueline-Wales/dp/0979859808/ref=ed_oe_p
10. Where do you go next on your blog tour?
Jacqueline
I'm traveling the blogosphere this month and next and visiting lots of different bloggers and radio interviews which I always enjoy.

Thank you so much for stopping to visit us today. I really want to thank you for helping us find a way to feel our fear and conquer it.I hope our visitors will feel free to ask questions and that you will come back and answer them when you have a chance today. Thank you again for your time and your wonderful book and workbook.

It's my pleasure and I thank your for the opportunity to speak with your visitors.

About Jacqueline Wales
Jacqueline Wales is known the world over as The Black Belt Millionaire. Her unique programs have helped women around the globe develop strong personal success, confident communication and clear visions of their goals. She is the author of five books including The Fearless Factor available at http://www.thefearlessfactorbook.com
For information on how to get YOUR copy of The Fearless Factor visit http://www.thefearlessfactorbook.com/signup.html

1 comment:

Word Crafter said...

So absolutely true - We need all the inspiration we can get and you certainly are that. Thank you for joining us and for writing your amazing book.
Billie
www.billiewilliams.com